发布时间 : 星期二 文章Intercultural communication skills更新完毕开始阅读
Of course Americans are often willing to accept help from others, especially in situations where they really need help. However, most Americans are taught from an early age that they should take care of themselves, and in general they view self-reliance as a virtue. Because of this, most Americans try to do things for themselves as much as possible, and some may even feel a little insulted if someone tries to help them too much —it seems to imply that they can't take care of themselves.
I also have a hunch that he felt it was a man's duty to do the heavy work rather than having a (small? Slight?) woman carry heavy bags for him . Despite the growing emphasis in the West on equality between men and women, the idea that it is a gentleman's duty to help ladies is still strong,
especially
among
older generations of Western men.
I suspect that the two of you saw the situation from very different perspectives. You probably saw the situation as a host helping a guest, while he saw it as a young woman trying to help a man —who despite his age was still perfectly capable of taking care of himself! The
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他们确实需要时。然而，大多数美国人从小就被教育他们应该照顾好自己，大体上，他们把自我依靠看成一种美德。由于这个，大多数美国人都尽可能多地自己做事。有人过多地帮助他，有的甚至会感到受到一点小侮辱。那样就表示他没有能力照顾自己。
我也有这样的感觉，他认为男人有义务干重活，而不是让瘦弱苗条的女士为他提沉重的箱子。尽管西方人不断强调男女平等，绅士帮住女士的观念依然很浓厚，尤其在老一辈男士中。
我想你们俩是以不同的视角观察那件事的。你可能把它看成是主人帮助客人，而他却看成是年轻女士帮助成年男人，虽然他年龄稍大，但是他仍有能力照顾自己！那美国人的年龄可能会让你觉得帮助他很自然。但当人们觉得他们不能照顾自己时有
age of the American man may have made it seem more natural for you to assist him, but some older Americans don't like it when people assume that they can't take care of themselves. I note in your letter that the man said he \carry the suitcase himself.\if those are the words he used, I bet he was implying he still wasn't too old to take care of himself. (Many Americans have a rather negative view of old age.) I also guess he didn’t know enough about Chinese culture to understand the obligations Chinese hosts feel toward guests.It was nice of you to offer to help the man and I would encourage you to do the same thing again if the occasion arises. Not all American men would be so unwilling to accept your help. However, next time if an American doesn't seem to want help, don't insist to hard.
Sincerely, Fran
Culture Difference Reading:
Public and Private Behavior
Both individualist and collectivist cultures make a distinction between public life (work, national duty) and private life (home , family , personal
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的老人会不高兴。在你的来信中，我注意到美国教授说他能自己提箱子。如果那就是他说的话，我打赌他在暗示他还没老到不能照顾自己的时候。（许多美国人对高龄持否定态度。）我猜他对中国文化了解不多，不了解中国主人感觉有义务帮助客人这一现象。帮助那位教授是好的行为，今后遇到此类情况，我鼓励你继续这样做。不是所有的美国男人都那么不愿意接受你的帮助。然而，下次如果某个美国人好像不愿意接受帮助，你也不要太坚持。
诚上 弗朗
文化差异阅读： 公众与私下行为
个人主义与集体主义文化都把公众生活（工作，国家义务）和私生活（家庭，私人关系）分得很开。但西方个人主义倾向于把公私生活界
friendships).However, individualist Western cultures tend to make an especially clear and firm distinction between the public and private, and generally feel that these two aspects of life should be kept separate from each other . In other words, Westerners tend to believe
that
having
a
personal
relationship with someone should not affect how you treat that person in public, work-related situations. (In fact, some Westerners try to avoid mixing work and play completely, and keep their circle of work acquaintances quite separate from their circle of personal friends.)
To illustrate this difference, imagine the following situation:
A Western manager has been told by her company that she has to reduce staff by firing one of two technicians, John or Bob. Both of them have been with the company for about five years, and their work performance is about equal. However, John is from the town the company is located in, is generally considered easy to work with, and has many good friends throughout the company — including the manager. It is also widely known that John’s wife has a
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限划得更清晰更严格，大体上，他们认为生活的这两方面应该相互分开。换句话说，西方人倾向于相信，与某人的私人关系不能影响公众环境如何对待他。（事实上，某些西方人尽量避免工作和玩耍相混合，他们把工作圈认识的人和私人朋友区分开。） 为了说明这种不同，请想象下下面场景：
公司要求一西方经理解雇约翰或保罗两技术工人之一以达到裁员的目的。他俩都已来公司5年了，工作表现也差不多。但约翰来自公司所在的镇上，大体上，人们认为约翰更容易合作，整个公司他有很多包括经理在内的好朋友。约翰的妻子经常生病不能工作，这事大家也都知道。因此，整个家庭完全依靠约翰。相对比，保罗来自祖国的另一个地方，在当地和公司认识的人也不多，他有点不太容易相处。他还是单身，没有家庭经
long -term illness and cannot work, so the family
depends
entirely
on
John
济义务。但是，保罗拥有文学硕士文凭，而约翰只有文学学士文凭。
financially. Bob, in contrast, comes from another part of the country, knows few people in the town or company, and is generally very difficult to get along with. He is also single, so has no family financial obligations. However, Bob has an MA degree, while John only has a BA.
It is hard to say for sure which of
these two technicians a Western manager would fire ,but it is probably safe to say that Bob has a much better chance of keeping his job in an individualist Western culture than he would in a collectivist one . One reason is that a Western manager would feel more pressure to base the decision mainly on objective \criteria, such as Bob's MA degree.
A second reason is that everyone involved -the manager, John, and even the manager's superiors -would assume that it would not be right for the manager's personal friendship with John to affect her decision very much; in fact, she might often expect John not to \it personally\if she decided to fire him rather than Bob. Finally, personal
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很难确定经理会解雇两技术工
中的哪一个，但在个人主义的西方国 家保罗保住工作的可能性要比在集 体主义文化国家大。原因之一是，西 方经理会感到更有压力，会主要基于 公正的“公共”标准来做决定。如， 保罗的学位。
原因之二是每个人包括经理、约翰甚至是经理的上司都会觉得如果经理利用她和约翰的个人关系来过多地影响她的决定是不对的。事实上，如果被解雇约翰而不是保罗，经理可能甚至希望约翰不要“从个人出发考虑此事”。最终个人考虑（中国人所说的人情味）会被看成私事而非公事，因此，即使有对约翰家庭境况